March 18, 2014
This blog was going to be about gender dynamics at Gordon-Conwell.
I wanted to write about how my excitement over finally being in a school with more men than woman turned to frustration. About how I recognized that the complementation circles with which I readily identified seemed to create a subtle culture in which people of the opposite sex were objects—either to be pursued for marriage or set aside for the sake of “guarding hearts.”
I wanted to note that despite having discussed the challenges of being a woman ad nauseam in college, I found myself having to re-enter that conversation in seminary. That the issues re-surfaced in ways that were new to me—like the debate about women in church leadership.
All of these things were discouraging to me, and I was going to blog against them…
And then I attended the screening of the film Girl Rising. The compelling message about educating girls in the third world moved me. I wanted to do something to help those girls. I always had—which is why I came to seminary.
But the reality was that there I was, the daughter of Haitian immigrants, with not only a college, but a graduate education AND a ministry job at a church, itching to jump into the ring to fight for yet more rights…for myself.
Grasping for things that would make me feel more empowered, I had forgotten my dream of advocating for those without a voice. And worse, I had become blind to the fact I had a sphere of influence (albeit smaller and more broken than I would prefer) to make a difference.
And I realized this grave irony: you can miss your call when you are too focused on fighting for yourself.
Now, I am not advocating that we forget the injustices that we face as individuals (often those are the very areas that we are called to address). And after all, we cannot speak about someone else’s worth if we have abdicated our own.
Yet, I cannot help but hear the faint echo of Jesus’ backward economics: whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it (Matt. 10:39).
And I realize that true empowerment is not fighting for more for me but losing myself and what I have been given, no matter how large or small, to serve the least of these.
So the reality is, though they sometimes drive me up a wall, this blog isn’t about the gender dynamics at Gordon-Conwell.
This blog is about the women around the globe who:
Are the silent victims of unimaginable injustice and crime.
Cannot read or write.
Have been given no worth outside of their roles as bearers of children.
…And are denied the rights that I take as a given.
And to use my voice and energy to serve them is really the most empowered thing I can do.
Joelinda is a second year M.Div. candidate. She currently serves as the Student Ministries Director at Grace Chapel’s Watertown campus. She is a lover of all things beautiful including theater, fall days in New England, chick flicks and the mountains. She counts bargain-hunting her sport and enjoys singing loudly while driving. Above all, Joelinda’s passion is to build relationships that help others understand the transformative power of the gospel.
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