I’m not sure who initially alerted me that my position at Gordon-Conwell was responsible for chairing the COVID Pandemic Planning Committee, but it was a surprise to me! My tenure at Gordon-Conwell had begun nine months before this particular piece of information became crucially important. For the next few years much of my work as dean of students comprised the following:

  • Making difficult decisions: how do we function as a seminary given the regulations provided by the government?
  • Having unexpected conversations: how do we develop a sense of belonging when we can’t see each other’s faces or we are separated by a screen?
  • Performing surprising tasks: measuring six feet distance between every desk in the Academic Center.

It’s been five years since we learned a new vocabulary: Coronavirus, social distancing, and N-95. We also adopted new patterns of life. I never expected to become a connoisseur of face masks and hand sanitizer (why do they even make scented versions?!). In marking this anniversary, I’ve found myself reflecting on how all this changed us given the intervening time since then.

Because of my position in Student Life, every year I enjoy trying to figure out what the new class of students will be like (Studious? Silly? Serious?) based on our Welcome Week interactions. I’ll never forget sitting in a very large socially-distanced circle with the new students in January 2021, all of us masked, as I tried to imagine how they were ever going to develop the life-sustaining relationships that are vital to thriving in seminary. I also remember standing outside on the Kerr patio with the cohort of September 2021 watching these new students who were starved for connection, absolutely enthralled as they talked with each other. They formed strong bonds and made the most out of the situation. For several subsequent years, incoming cohorts seemed to not take community for granted since their recent memory affirmed that it can easily be taken away.

COVID for me was unique since, being essential personnel, I did not work from home. I spent days in a very empty Kerr building, waving to masked people down the hallway who I never felt confident I actually correctly identified. I spent a lot of time on the CDC website, along with the MA Department of Health web page attempting to interpret the constantly changing guidance we were being offered. Each set of guidelines challenged us to adapt our former way of life to a “new normal.”

Lessons Learned
I learned a lot during this unprecedented time. While leading the COVID Pandemic Planning Committee, I became versed in courageous decision making and negotiating perspectives and opinions. I became adept at identifying the point at which a decision must be made despite a distinct and fearsome lack of clarity about the future. Perhaps most importantly, I learned to keep my center point focused on our mission because, if one hand grips that, the other hand can make something out of chaos that is around us. When confusion abounds, if that one hand holds tight to that, we still have freedom to create new possibilities with purpose using the other hand. We have tools at our disposal: reframing, innovation, redeploying roles, camping out in the grey areas, simply doing the next needed task.

I still grieve what we lost during COVID. I’m grateful for what has been confirmed time and again about the Lord’s presence in challenging times. And I can’t assume that the future will be what I anticipate. I also know the joy that arises when being bound to a mission while also free to inhabit new ways of operating in the world. Some things never change.

Dr. Jana Holiday is the dean of students. Her book Taking Good Care: Administration as Christian Formation is forthcoming with Eerdman’s in early 2026.